“This training will be a little different. It will be...interactive”.

The word ‘interactive’ is often thrown on top of a gathering, like sprinkles on a cup of ice cream. It’s meant to jazz it up, give it some color. It telegraphs to our employees: “we know a lot of gatherings are boring - this won’t be one of them”.

Yet, In 9 out of 10 gatherings, the promise of “interactive” simply turns out to be a Q&A at the end. 

Sure, we can find other ways to increase interaction - polls, emojis, games, icebreakers, or more. There’s plenty to choose from just like there’s plenty of ice-cream toppings. They do serve a purpose.

But these interactive methods are still inefficient if what we want from our gatherings is for our content to be retained and put to use. And if that’s what employees are gathering for as well.

The missing ingredient isn’t simply interaction, it’s connection.

 Why connection matters in our gatherings 

“This is a song about heartache”

“Now, get up out of your seat and dance!”

Two phrases, different purposes. One phrase is a bid for connection. The other is a request for interaction.

Have you ever noticed that musicians tend to introduce songs by sharing what they're about? In doing so, they aim to take what’s personal to them and help it become personal to their audience. It’s a latch for us to connect our personal experiences with their content. When we can see ourselves, our stories, our needs in the material, it becomes ours, not just theirs.

When we choose to gather we’re not just coming to hear someone speak. We want to find a connection between what they have to say and our experience.

That’s one reason why people shout things out at a comedy show; they want to be seen as much as the gatherer does. This is how they connect their experience to the person on stage. 

Dancing may help us enjoy the gathering more, but it doesn’t necessarily help us feel seen or connected to those we came to see. 

If we can’t see ourselves in the gathering, in what is shared or discussed or done, this makes it harder to connect with the material or gatherer, and ultimately be bought into what’s being shared. It remains theirs, not ours. 

If people are enjoying your gathering but nothing changes after, the difference we can make is not to increase interaction but personalization. 

Here’s how: 

Separate processing content from sharing it

“We had the experience but missed the meaning” - T.S. Elliot. 

Well-placed questions and debriefs are the equivalent of throwing a fishing line out to our employees. They are an offer to connect. Employees may not latch on, but we can allow them to try.

Connection occurs when employees have the chance to wrestle with the content, just as the gatherer did when they created the gathering.

The shift to Zoom and virtual removed some of the informal ways we would normally debrief and process material, from post-gathering hallway conversations or the chatter in the conference room. Now, with most of us in back-to-back Zooms, we need to be even more intentional to build explicit time and nudges to allow people the chance to process what they consumed, either alone or with each other. If we think this will naturally happen when the gathering ends, guess again.

Without this time or energy, we are less likely to take up the content as our own, store it to memory, and find our own relevance to it. 

What to try: Ask employees to spend one-minute teaching back what they learned or prompt them with their one take-away from the gathering. 

Connect content to critical incidents

Personalization isn’t the same thing as customization. Help your employees see themselves in the material that already exists instead of changing the content for each group.

We tend to learn more and more deeply when learning touches on something we care about, whether it’s a business need or in some cases a personal one. “We want to ground this in something real for you. Take 2 minutes to think of an example you can use today’s content with”.

Small, simple questions on a screen at the start of a gathering can be used to bring the material closer. People are looking to connect to their needs anyway, so we might as well make it easier. 

What to try: Ask, “what does this topic make you think about?”, or “what’s top of mind for you about this topic?”. The gathering feels personal not because it’s been customized for each person, but it is made to be about them. This gets employees hooked right away to something they care about.

What to try: After sharing your pre-determined gathering objectives, ask “what am I missing?”, “what do you not see here that you were hoping to take away?” Beyond a virtual poll or lumping people into professional categories, open the door for connection by asking this simple question. The goal is to know what’s at stake for attendees. We don’t want to assume everyone has an explicit need, especially if they aren’t there by choice. But, we can still offer the opportunity to connect.

These questions (not directives) can also open the door for people to be more curious about what you’ll share. 

Our job is to do more than share information

It’s common to think the only appropriate time to leave space for connection is at the end of a gathering. Hence, the Q&A. But if we’re not careful, we can unintentionally reserve personalization for just the end or those brave, assured, or extraverted enough to ask a question. 

It’s easy to spot those who are bidding for connection. It’s the long-winded questions, those who want to tell a personal story, or those who need to be reminded, “a question ends with a question, thank you”. All of these signals remind us people want to connect and they want to take part. 

Getting people involved is fantastic and an important step in the right direction -- but we falsely assume this is enough to produce engagement.

Our content is only as helpful as our audience’s connection to it. 

Our job is not simply to share content – it is to help close the gap between the utility of the information and the participant’s ability to do something with it.

The solution then is not to give more, but to give what exists more meaning, more personal attachment, and a roadmap for its utility.

Our activities, tools, polls, and emojis mean little if people are not personally invested. It’s not the click of a button but that connection that counts. That is the true power of a gathering. 

Lindsey Caplan is a screenwriter turned organizational psychologist who helps HR & business leaders create experiences that boost motivation, engagement, and performance

Say hello@gatheringeffect.com