We tend to spend more time on what change we want to make in our organizations, and less time on how to bring it to people. 

We discuss what our company values should be, but not necessarily how to get people to care about them. We discuss what content to include in our manager training, but not necessarily how managers will remember the material or why many keep declining our training invitations.

Often those who want to spark movement or change have had a hand in shaping it. We are involved and it’s personal to us, so we care.  But for many of our employees, this isn’t the case. Unless we make it so. 

Change that lasts and gatherings that work have common characteristics. They are made with us, and about us.

With us and about us. We may understand this intellectually but to many, this sounds expensive and cumbersome. Add in a virtual element and no thanks! But - It’s not time or technology we’re up against. It’s something else. It’s our ideas and misconceptions about what “made with us” and “about us” may mean. 

With us: Involve and include people in your change effort 

We think: It’s hard to get interaction and feedback, especially in a virtual environment. Getting feedback from everyone takes too long. 

What we do: We resort to ‘pushing’ information. We talk at people instead. 

What to try: Give people a role. 

Asking for feedback isn’t the only way to include people in your change effort. Elevate your employee’s status and invite them in by giving them a part to play in the success of the gathering or change effort.

“Follow along, you can check our work”, says Heidi Schreck, playwright, and actress of Broadway hit What the Constitution Means to Me (also on Amazon Prime). Though it’s (mostly) a one-woman performance, the audience plays a crucial role…even if they’re watching at home. 

Audience members are asked to be more than passive participants. They’re asked (key word, asked) to be judges, at another point landowners, and more. These invitations remind us, it’s not her show, it’s ours. We need others to make a change stick - so why not show them?

What to try: Ask a central question 

It’s very tempting to think our role is to give people the answer. It can be hard to include others when we believe that’s our primary role. This can also implicitly signal we may not care about our employee’s answers or contributions. 

“Should we abolish the Constitution?” is just one complicated and deep question Schreck asks the audience to consider throughout the course of her 90-minute show.

Questions like these serve many purposes. They heighten and spark curiosity, mystery, and tension. They pull a group from passive into active. They show us what’s at stake, and pull us towards something to resolve.

Rather than forcing her opinion, she ends her show with a debate...and more questions. The debate is an invitation for the audience to do their own analysis. Ending a gathering with a question like this helps the message linger for more than just that moment. 

About us:  Unique and personal. Made for me instead of made for everyone. 

We think: We think we can’t possibly change, customize, or modify the content every day/every class or make it unique to each person or group. 

What we do: We add a Q&A at the end. We aim broad. 

What to try: Focus on the moment, not just the message

“Mike Birbiglia here. Really excited you’re coming to my show THE NEW ONE at the Cherry Lane Theater in, like, 8 hours. Please show up on time since there’s no late seating and because, of course, we all secretly hate late people. Also, please use the restroom before the show. I know that may sound strange but the show is only 80 minutes and if you leave it’ll be weird because it’s this little intimate theater (that is awesome!) One last thing, please please please turn off your phone before the show. Again, there’s only a few of us in there and we can even hear the vibrations so let’s just soak up the present together and enjoy some rare silence. And comedy! Again, thanks for coming. I feel very lucky that you’re joining me for the show. Let’s do this. 

Sincerely, 

Mike

Each night’s audience received the same email (above) during comedian Mike Birbiglia’s’ 2-month long Off-Broadway run of his show, “The New One”. 

Employees can still feel that something was made for them even if the content remains unchanged. 

This email serves a few distinct purposes: It elevates his audience to let them know how necessary they are to the gathering’s success. He's signaling, “I need you. And we need each other.” There’s also mutual accountability and a strong in-group. Your actions affect everyone else. Lastly, it signals this night will be different than what you expect. 

It may have taken just minutes to write and less to read, but more than saving time it set the stage. Birbiglia's e-mail mentioned nothing of the material - only the moment. 

We tend to focus only on the message or material in our gathering invitations. Basic facts, light agenda, etc. 

Sure, employees learn what they’ll be listening to, but it’s less clear on why they should attend. 

“About Us” excels by making the audience not just visible, but irreplaceable. We can do so by focusing as much on the moment as we do the material. The material is available anywhere and everywhere (especially these days) - but this moment isn’t. It’s special. And that’s what their audience came for. 

What to try:  Find out what we all have in common

“This is a song about...love”. This isn’t just a phrase musicians use to introduce songs. 

When we make the choice to gather we aren’t just coming to hear someone speak. We want to find a connection between what they have to say and our experience. That’s one reason why people shout things out at a comedy show; they want to be seen as much as the gatherer does. This is how they connect their experience to the person on stage. 

People are looking for a connection anyway, so we might as well ask them and make this connection easier. Prompts like these help: “Think of an example that’s relevant to you”, “think of a time when…”.

If we can’t see ourselves in the gathering, in what is shared or discussed or done, this makes it harder to connect with the material or gatherer, and ultimately be bought into what’s being shared. It remains theirs, not ours.

Help your employees see themselves in the material that already exists instead of changing the content for each group.

Lindsey Caplan is a screenwriter turned organizational psychologist who helps HR & business leaders create experiences that boost motivation, engagement, and performance

Say hello@gatheringeffect.com